S.R. Wild: Artist and Graphic Designer

My Swollen Biscuit Snatcher

Tuesday evening Magpie and Victor were sitting on the couch, staring at each other and growling. Rather than watch a cat brawl with horrible screaming that still startles me, I decided to diffuse the situation by moving one of the cats. I chose Magpie. When I tried to pick her up she freaked out and started clawing and bitting me. I got a few scratches and her tooth or claw punctured a small hole in my palm. After the fur settled, Undead Molly kindly helped me dress my wounds with peroxide and bandages with cartoon characters on them.

Everything was fine until yesterday afternoon when that tiny puncture on my palm started to bother me. It was sore, swollen, and red — rubbing it on the desk as I moved my mouse probably didn’t help. Things got worse as the day went on. I slept, or tried to sleep, with an ice pack on it last night, which helped a little. Magpie slept on top of me all night: a furry, purry, warm pack. When I woke up this morning it was really swollen and I couldn’t use it at all (it looked sort of green too). Plus, it really hurt — my whole arm hurt. My hand was just a throbbing, puffy claw.

I decided not to go to work this morning (I felt like an idiot calling in sick because my hand hurt from a cat scratch). I needed to take care of my paw before it got worse. Besides, I would have been useless: I was sleep deprived and only had the use of my left hand (I’m right-handed). I thought about going to the Emergency Room but I was able to get an appointment with a doctor.

As the doctor was looking at my inflated hand, red streaks started to appear up my arm, a sign of a bad infection. I was given an injection of some super antibiotic in my right butt cheek and sent home with some enormous antibiotic pills.

I’m exhausted, cranky, nauseous, my head is pounding, and my hand really fucking hurts. It’s more swollen now than when these photos were taken. I wish I had started taken photos last night so I could make a movie. Typing with one hand is a bit annoying too. I could be mad at Magpie (she’s sleeping at my feet as I slowly type this) for putting me through all this, but how can I be mad at a face like this…

Bed for Magpie, Man Sack for Me

My mom made a lovely bed for Magpie out of an old child-sized sweatshirt, which is pretty damn clever — very nice of her too. It’s just as good as those expensive store-bought cat beds and a big step up from the blanket Magpie was using for a bed. She likes it so much that she did a little dance — my cat, not my mom.

I got something too. My dad picked up a new Man Sack™ for me at an army surplus store on Haight St. It’s not made as well as my old one (is anything anymore?) and it hasn’t been through a war, but it will do nicely — after a few modifications of course.

I lost My Virginity

I finally did it, my silkscreening hymen was popped this evening. They say you always remember your first time, so I wanted my first silkscreen print to be of someone special: Magpie.

The image of her is a photograph I took that I manipulated in Photoshop and then printed on faux vellum. Having never done anything like this before, I wasn’t sure how well it would work, but it did. The entire process went very well considering it was my first time — I can only get better at it form here on out. I really love silkscreening. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I forgot I’ve been awake since 7 o’clock yesterday.

Speaking of sleep, I really need to get some — I can barley keep my eyes open.

Good night everyone.

We Hate Hot

Magpie hates hot weather too. She’s been lying on her back (not very lady like) all night and only gets up to move if I move to another room. I wish I had one of those evil air conditioners.

Cellphones, a Car, and a Cat

Last Friday, I spent the day running around going to appointments and doing errands. The major things were to get Magpie’s oil changed and take my car to her first vet visit… no, the other way around.

Maybe it’s because I don’t drive much anymore, only once or twice a week and usually on the weekends or late at night, but there seemed to be an inordinate amount of dumb-asses driving around while talking on their cellphone. Grrrr, when are they going to make it illegal in Vermont? I even saw some idiot riding a bike while talking on his cellphone, swerving all over the narrow lane. People, what conversation is so fucking important that you’re willing to risk injuring yourself and/or those around? Pull the fuck over to talk!

I don’t have a land line, so all I have is a cellphone. I rarely use because I seldom make or receive calls, which is another story. When I do use it, I don’t do all the things that annoy me: talk while driving, talk loudly around others, have one that constantly rings an obnoxious tone or song loudly, or text (I’ve only ever texted a few times) around others when I could be having a conversation.

OK, I had to get that out. I feel better now.

Magpie’s vet visit went well. Although, she didn’t like getting her nails clipped or the knotted clump of hair on her chest shaved off. It took two of them to hold her and they had to resort to some blindfolding in the back room to finish the job. I really didn’t like seeing her being bothered like that, and when they took her in the back, I waited in the lobby, worrying.

I talked to the vet about her, ahem, weight issue. She weighs about 13 pounds and has a generous belly. She suggested I switch her to wet food that doesn’t contain any grains — basically the Atkins Diet. So, after the vet, I bought a variety of food that doesn’t contain grains. It’s a little more expensive but it’s worth it. Because of the wet food, I’ll also have to be more aware of her teeth. Luckily, Magpie lets me brush them.

At the vet, I flipped through a book about cats and I think Magpie is a Norwegian Forest Cat. I was surprised to learn that they are kittens until age four. That makes sense because Magpie is 1 to 2 years old but acts like a kitten.

As for my car, it didn’t do so good. It’s fine now, but I had to spend more than I planned to make it fine.

More Magpie

I’m happy to report Magpie is loving her new home and is very happy. She really likes to eat and it shows — that’s not just a lot of fur. But, she also likes to play and so do I. Hopefully, with all that playing and eating right, she’ll get rid of those extra pounds and get her girlish figure back in no time.

As promised, here are some better photographs of her (she really likes the rocking chair in my bedroom).

This morning she woke me up by pressing her front paws up and down my legs — it was like a cat massage. I think she knew I was oversleeping and didn’t want me to be late for work. When I got home after work, she greeted me at the door with a few meows and we talked about each other’s day. Yeah, it’s great to live with something living again. Pinky is great and all, but she never does anything — she’s just eye candy.

Meet Magpie

I adopted a cat today from the Humane Society of Chittenden County. Her name is Magpie. She’s very friendly, mellow, intelligent, and a bit aloof. Plus, she matches my wardrobe and we both have green eyes. We were made for each other.

Molly was kind enough to accompany me to the Humane Society — thank you very much, Molly. There are so many lovely kitties there that need homes. We were there for almost three hours. After spending over an hour with Magpie, I fell for her and wanted to take her home.

She’s still getting used to her new home, so I didn’t want to bother her with too many pictures; I’ll post better ones soon. Don’t worry, this blog isn’t going to turn into a cat blog.

Not only is she a great companion, she’s also a great source for fur. Once I have a decent amount — it shouldn’t be long judging by the pile I obtained in one sitting — I’m going to have her fur made into yarn. Then, I think I’ll make a hat.

Magpie and I are going to watch Shadow of a Doubt. I hope she likes old movies, especially Hitchcock, because I watch them a lot.

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